An Entertainment, Part I An EntertainmentAn Entertainment, Part I
I It was agreed, eventually, that ‘it’ – the box – had appeared overnight, some time between two and two-thirty in the morning. This information came from the night security guard Gary, who absolutely confirmed that it wasn’t there at two when he had left his post to excavate his bowels – nor at two thirty, when he returned, having become sidetracked watching a couple asleep across the road, through the window next to the lift. Clarence, Deputy Manager, and to all intents and purposes Manager as well, had been somewhat sceptical of Gary’s story – unconvinced that a man of Gary’s capriciousness could
The Tree Slips and FallsThe Tree slips and fallsThe Tree Slips and Falls
Sadly
The night opens itself to the air
Weakly
The nurse closes the curtains
The mountain beats its rocky heart black and blue.
Not really.
Tragically
The wind threatens the ill at ease
New-found
Help at your door - yet none appears.
Maybe the signal is that
H appi ness is the root Cause of all the joy which pervades so well and which undermines our self esteem to the point of delerium.
So I said: it.
So
UntitledFoo -thesound of a heart beating wakes the children at noon but my inelegant fist beatin gonthedoor leaves little choi c eUntitled
butto offer the coffee
Known unto GodKnown unto GodKnown unto God
Bent over like street amoeba cleansing a shoe. Yet able-bodied, whispering, we curse through the pop-hymns we begrudge,
Till leaning, we deposit the Good News, And towards our coffee piously trudge. Children brought for the first time. Many had lost their collection But tossed in some Lego, sticky. All were bored, tired, Drunk with communion; deaf even to the reflections of the minister - chatty, gangly, balding, patronising, indoctrinal – and newly wired.
Biscuits! Cake! Quick, children! – An ecstasy of running - Pretending not to - smiling at the
dA doesn't work so well for people who are openly rude. From the comment you left on one of my poems, and from the other comments you've left, it's clear that you won't be making any friends here. That's a shame, really. Clearly you have misunderstood the purpose of dA.
No one is going to want to read your work or give you any kind of constructive advice if all you do is tell people you think their poetry doesn't have a point.
Especially ^imperfect. Being rude to her is just an incredible lapse in judgement.
Now, I'm not saying lie to people. If you don't think a poem is good, say why - not just that it's pointless. Be constructive, not negative.
Do they teach you how to work with others at Oxford?
dA is a community - not a forum for you to demonstrate how pompous you can be.
As for the comment left on my own poem, you are clearly either a misogynist or you've just never really known someone who has a uterus. That, or your reading comprehension is shockingly lacking.
So my suggestions for you are:
1) Understand the concept of community or remove yourself from it.
2) At least have enough respect for others to read carefully and offer constructive commentary.
3) Get your own poetic voice. I doubt cummings would appreciate the cheap imitation.
1) I have realised that dA is not for people who are "openly rude". I have stopped calling people 'kid', 'pompous', 'misogynist' and so on.
2) I hope I haven't told anyone that their poetry doesn't have a point. Individual poems might appear purposeless, and I might suggest that, and question the motivation for writing, but I would never broaden it out the 'their poetry'.
3) My comments on ^imperfect's poetry were not rude or offensive. I am quite sure, therefore (and perhaps, even if they were) that they will have no impact on how she aproaches mine, since I am sure she is more interested in poetry than politics. I would hope she and you recognise the intentional fallacy anyway.
4) You may find this comment confusing or a cop-out, it is neither. I am not entirely convinced by notions of causality, and sometimes I like or dislike things for reasons I don't understand. Even when I think I do have a reason for the way I feel towards something, they may not be the real reasons. Therefore I see no particular benefit to saying "why" one doesn't like a poem, it is quite enough to say "hurrah" or "boo", in the emotivist model.
5) Learning to work with others is not a feature of the Oxford English syllabus.
6) I don't see why my comment on your poem, "I think it's rather uninspiring - neither having something to say in the 'meaning', nor in the 'form' or 'manner'. Clever use of structure but nothing new particuarly, nor something so good it validates repetition", in any way suggests misogyny, and you seem to have conflated the levels on which the poem works. I do understand what the poem is literally saying, but I do not see what the philosophical meaning or purpose of it is.
6) 'The concept of community" is not that people all help each other by being nice. Perhaps that is a 'caring community', but 'community' simply means a collection of people. I would be willing to accept the more recent meaning, that of the group of people somehow working together towards an agreed end or goal, but *not* that they would necessarily agree on how to achieve that goal. Whilst, therefore, I am quite willing to agree to the presumed community goal of creating and improving art, I do not subscribe to the notion you have imposed, that we should all achieve that goal by your means.
7) I don't understand how you can presume to know how carefully I read.
8) E.E. Cummings is dead.
9) All of my poems are cheap imitations. The poem stands alone from, as well as in the mould of, its context.
Thank you for your suggestions.
Literature is pretty polarised here on dA, there are lots of people who aren't very good, but also some fantastic writers.
Keep an eye on the the main page each day, as the 'Daily Deviations' will usually feature some good poets.
One way to find decent poetry is, obviously, to scan the favourites and friends lists of people you like.
Keep an eye on the poetry and prose forum as well. The 'serious' writers tend to post there, and if you do so more people will visit you.
Also, dA literature is built on the back of critique. Comment on someone's poem in a helpful way, and they in turn will often do the same for you.
It will take a while to get noticed, and it's best to view that period as a learning exericse, where you read other people's work and improve you own, rather than waiting patiently for praise to be heaped upon you.
I hope you like it here.
--
'Finish good lady, we are for the dark'
and i be honoured beyond measure
--
its not too late to become what you were meant to be
--
'Finish good lady, we are for the dark'
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